I know that coming out the closet is difficult. Mama know. Yessss baby. But everybody who has ever been in the closet ever, EVER knows Rule Number One:

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER LET SOMEBODY GET PROOF OF YOU DOING GAY SHIT.

How else is the lie supposed to work? When you are properly closeted,your friends can be like “Hey my dude, I don’t know if you want us to kick somebody ass or something but that nigga Ray Ray going around telling errbody you slobbed his knob behind the Costco on 63rd”, and all you have to say is “Ray Ray just mad cuz his sister is pregnant and it might be mine but I’ll be damned if I’m playing daddy to that ho baby!” and it ain’t nothing nobody can say. The rumor might swirl around for a while but it dies, like most rumors do, because there’s nothing to back it up.

HOWEVER

That shit changes whenever you decide to do the following:

1. Admit that you secretly used to check out your best friend when he stood near your urinal.
2. Go to pride just “for support” but “accidentally” end up wearing one of those tacky ass rainbow sweatbands or that plastic six-colored friendship bracelet that the AIDS Support Network be selling for $3.
3. Take pictures, half naked, with somebody of the same sex cuddled up next to you, kissing on your shoulders and shit.

Terrell Carter. Oh you better call on Jesus, Terrell Carter.

Black people know who he is but for the four white people who read this blog…wait. White people get on Google, they don’t even ask questions because the internet got all the answers. White people Googled as soon as they saw the name “Terrell Carter” & so they’re all caught up now.

If you have not yet seen the pictures, Mr. Carter has so kindly provided you closeted homos with a perfect example of what not to do:

First off don’t even come at me with “that ain’t him!” Bitch is you blind? That’s his ass. NEXT.

Secondly…damn. You got caught up homie! Classic mistakes, easily avoidable.

Terrell did everything he wasn’t supposed to as a closeted man.

Got famous? IS YOU CRAZY.

Filled out an application with Tyler Perry? IS YOU CRAZY.

Got a boyfriend? IS YOU CRAZY.

LET YOUR BOYFRIEND TAKE PICTURES OF Y’ALL BOO’D UP LIKE Y’ALL CELEBRATING THE NEW SHEETS YOU GOT FROM LINENS N THINGS* FINAL BLOWOUT SALE?

You got to be out your mind.

Much like how Steve McNair has become an example to cheating spouses everywhere (I heard UPS made like $3 million this past week alone delivering all those “Bitch don’t never call me again” certified letters to jumpoff hos across the world), Terrell Carter is the closeted homosexual that you never want to be. Had he used just a little bit of common sense (or if we lived in a world where homosexuality wasn’t stigmatized…but that’s getting way too deep for this raggedy blog) TC would be able to run around Twitter telling people that no, he’s actually Raven Symone’s baby daddy, this muhfucka Alex just mad cuz he auditioned to be “Dude With A Shiny Chest” in Tyler Perry’s newest play “You Already Know How It’s Gonna End So Here’s The Tranny Grandmama You Came To See” but didn’t get the part. And Alex, without his proof, would have faded into the background like his name was MoKenStef. Oh, but alas. Alas.

*I’m still real fucking salty that Linens N Things closed. The fuck outta here with this shit!