August 25, 2009
Because I'm tired of saying it.
On Twitter:
1. Do not ask people to follow you. Thirsty bitches, it’s not that damn serious! On the same note, do not sweat people for unfollowing you. Everybody ain’t meant to be together on the internet.
2. Do not re-tweet every @ reply you receive. That’s boring as fuck. I don’t care if you and your roommate are trying to decide between tuna salad and chicken salad for your best friend’s baby shower.
3. Do not send me links to check out your mixtape. I really can’t help you. No, really.
4. Locked profiles are tools of Satan. I can’t see the @ replies you send me and I can’t check out your timeline to see whether I’d like to follow you. So then you think I’m being bougie and ignoring your shit when I actually can’t see it. Unlock your account, please.
5. If you don’t like anything about how a person uses their Twitter (like frequency or content), so much so that you feel compelled to speak on it, just save everybody’s time and nerves by unfollowing that person. I crack up everytime someone announces that they’re unfollowing me. I don’t give a good goddamn what you do! Just keep it pushin.
6. Don’t say something over Twitter that you don’t want broadcast in re-tweets. Use direct messages instead.
7. “Twitter after dark” and all related twitter themes are lame as fuck. Either be horny while the sun is up and Oprah is on or skip it.
8. Don’t ask me to ask someone else to follow you. Again, not that serious.
9. Get off these celebrities’ nipples. If anything, Twitter should have taught you by now that these are some regular motherfuckers.
10. Don’t Twitter while drunk. I’m still working on this one myself. It’s fun as shit while you doin it but afterward, you re-read that shit and feel like Linda Hogan.
What did I miss? Hit me up here or on my Twitter.
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