September 22, 2009

How the Elite Negro is fucking it up for the rest of us.

untitledOh, really? So this makes sense in your world?


A few days ago, I was spending my entire afternoon on Twitter, as I do most days, when the topic of tipping came up. It wasn’t long before someone brought up the stereotype of black people refusing to tip. A lot of arguments went back and forth across my timeline, most discussing the validity of the stereotype and the different reasons why black people do or do not tip. Since it was Sunday, I was busy eating fried leftovers and trying to fight off the itis, so I didn’t pay too much attention until I saw a tweet from one prolific journalist. It read:

”When you don’t tip you contribute to the stereotype that Blacks don’t. Blacks arriving after you have to deal with your mess.”

I just kinda blinked at the screen. I mean, really. Read that shit again.

”When you don’t tip you contribute to the stereotype that Blacks don’t. Blacks arriving after you have to deal with your mess.”

Where do I even start?

I have an issue with famous people who say things that are this ignorant. Especially famous black people who may have a higher number of non-black fans (read: the uppity blacks on Twitter who are always trying to front like they ain’t uppity), fans who may take said misinformation and repeat it as if it’s the gospel truth.

I’ll make this plain: Chastising blackfolks for “contributing to the stereotype” is the uppity negro’s way of “making the rest of us look bad”. Not that you’ll ever get an uppity negro to believe it, but there it is.

I don’t care if my neighbor, my mama’s whole block, my high school graduating class, the entire north side of Tulsa, the southern half of Texas, or every biracial kid with a white mama and fucked up hair doesn’t tip. Y’all don’t speak for me, and I don’t for you. If a server groans inwardly and reluctantly approaches a black table, the burden is not on you, dear black person, to tip extravagantly or overcompensate for any other black person who doesn’t tip. The burden is on the server to get his damn mind right.

I’m not apologizing for my race. I’m never going to be ashamed for being black because some black people fuck up. If a black person ran over your cat, I’m sorry for your cat. (Well, not really – I hate animals. But I’m kinda sad for you, I guess.) If a black girl put her backpack in the seat next to hers at the lunch table and wouldn’t let you sit there, I’m sorry that this event occurred twenty years ago and still affects you as an adult. If a black man snatched the mic away from you while you were accepting the award for Best Female Video at the MTV Video Music Awards and humiliated you in front of everyone in America, I’m sorry that the band started back up before you could finish your speech. If a black family sat in your section at Applebee’s and only tipped $5 on a $50 bill, well, I’m sorry that you’ll have to split that $5 with the busboys and everybody in the kitchen.

What I’m not going to do is pay a “black tax” (the concept of over-tipping as a socially-conscious-and-therefore-superior black person) or apologize for my roommate who never tips more than three dollars, because I remain unconcerned with the stereotype. I don’t categorize every white girl with a black boyfriend as some stupid Becky with a fetish for getting played, even if I’ve seen it happen four hundred thousand trillion times. I don’t assume all Indians drink their lives away, or that all men are rapists, or that every black man with a non-black wife married her because he was concerned with too-dark babies and kinky hair.

But if I did – it’s not the job of every Native to make sure to remain sober around me so I won’t think anything bad about her race. It’s not the responsibility of that brother to say “Hey, just so you know, I married her because the dowry was low. Not because of colorism.” It’s not up to Becky to prove to me that her man ain’t cheating on her, and she has the GPS tracking records to prove it. It’s up to me to change my fucked up way of thinking. Anyone who tries to get you to change your actions for the sole purpose of working to disprove a racial stereotype, especially one as inconsequential as not tipping, is full of shit.

And for the record, I’m normally a 25%-30% tipper. Unless that bitch is white*.


*kidding, white people! don’t take my innanet away!

22 Responses to “How the Elite Negro is fucking it up for the rest of us.”

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Lil' Creole Pimp says:

Why you just ain’t put his punk ass on blast?!?!?! I’m usually broke as fuck, but I’m a young buck with a few debts on my hands so I tip what I can, but I try to always leave five dollars. Think about it, Toya. If I left five dollars and everybody after me left five and Tiny served about 17 tables that day… how many dollars will Kandi have earned? Shut up, NeNe. I know I’m bad at math, I’ll let Michelle tabulate it. My purpose is I give what I can because I’m not tryna pay Monifah’s bills, Khadijah. I’m not obligated to tip, but I tip accordingly. And ’sides that, I dine in at whole in the wall establishments where you can eat the whole damn room for 3 dollars and tip 3 mo’ and put 3 on gas and have a dollar left over for the gum ball machine… The highest brow establishment I’ve eaten on is the riverboat casino and seven dollars is greatly appreciated by Kima.

sojdanielle says:

When I was in college, eating out was a treat. I would go to a restaurant with just enough money to get my food and maybe leave $2. I had no idea that that waitresses/waiters often get piad $2.15 a hour (or something I was told) to wait tables and that their wage is dependent upon us. I think a lot of other people, especially black people, may also not be aware. Nevertheless, I have a greater issue with the serving industry b/c now that there are tip jars at every location that shouldn’t have one (ex. chipotle, a behemoth corporation and subsidiary of McDonalds) lots of people are all tipped out and well they should. To me this is just another way for some blacks to control the coversation and steer people to believe that there is a strict divide between black people and niggas rather than informed/uninformed or with resources vs. without resources. I don’t want to get to deep here, but I will say that this morning I contributed to the steoreotype that black people don’t come to work on time, that black women wear fake hair, that young people wear inappropriate shoes in the workplace…and I also, shamefully, contributed to the generalization that Asian women don’t have booties by rocking a flat butt to work. what’s it to ya?

MeL says:

I agree. I don’t understand how the actions of one, few, or many speak on MY behalf. And how dare black people feel it necessary to pay for other peoples lack of tipping? That goes right out the damn window with “no matter how bad they business is, you gotta support em cuz they black.” GTFOH. Lets get our minds right people … Honestly. (great post Crystal)

Reecie says:

I personally hate “black tax” more than those that don’t tip. I think people that purposely get up from a table and dont tip–especially after paying over $20 for a meal is extremely tacky, BUT those that over tip just so they don’t look tacky are just flossy posers. I tip standard- usually 18-20%. if it is exceptional service I’ll tip way more, and if its horrid, I won’t leave a cent. sure won’t. but more than likely I’ll have had a talk with the manager and let them know, this was unacceptable, and I won’t be leaving a tip. if its a place that adds gratuity, I make sure I have that talk with the manager–because just because its included doesn’t mean I won’t let someone know how horrible your service skills are. I’m adamant about not contributing anything extra if I don’t feel your service was up to par. that’s me though.

true2me says:

*claps and applauds*

I been saying for YEARS NOW that I dont care what “They” will think of me because of what someone else did..I mean I really been saying it for YEARS

Flava Flav does not make all blacks look like coons nor does Tiny and Toya or Frankie and Neffie “embarass” the black culture…they embarass themselves (if they are embarassed..hey …if they love it I like it)- *you can never have enough examples*

I dont feel we all gotta go out and act snobbie or bougie or sophistomicated because we need to constantly prove our worth to THEM ..eff them…do you..I’m going to do me..

Thanks again for this post..Im passionate about it (as you can see)

gabi says:

interesting points! i do have to work on this. i usually tip 20% and i have tipped much more when the service is excellent. i just dislike when people (regardless of race) undertip for no reason. BUT, the last time i decided not to tip because the waiter sucked, my white female friend looked at me like i was the worst person in the world and compensated. im more than sure she thought it was because im black. oh well.

Bourgie, JD says:

I was just trying to tell someone the other day about how being embarrassed is YOUR shit, not on someone else. I was trying to tell them via twitter and, due to the 140 ch limit, it didn’t go over well. Of course we were (still) talking about Kanye and the VMAs. I don’t get people saying he shamed the WHOLE Black race! Being embarrassed or ashamed is something you feel because you have internalized outside behaviors or ideas. So get over it already.
This might sound odd, but one day several years ago, I decided to quit being embarrassed. I’m not 100% cured, don’t think anyone can be, but I have significantly decreased how much I allow other people’s actions define my Blackness, womanhood, worth, or whatever.
I say all that to say I agree with you, we should not all pay the “Black Tax” and make up for the next man’s shortcomings. As a former server and bartender I know that race is not even a good indicator of who will tip (neither is education, sex, age, etc). It’s a crapshoot. On the same token, as a former server/bartender, I know that mofos need to come up off those tips more than they do. But that’s another post.

Jimmy says:

I have nothing to add except that I love, love, LOVE that you can make me laugh so hard while talking about a serious issue.

Minkxx says:

>Especially famous black people

Umm, I beg to differ with you. Toure IS NOT famous. Toure is a second rate “journalist” who loves nothing more than to be told: You know, you’re not like those other blacks.

And he’s untalented. Which is the worse offense, in my opinion.

ASmith says:

Here’s the kicker:

Even when you pay that black tax, they still think the same effed up ish they did before, they just say to themselves “well, she’s different from the rest…”

So now, you overtipped, are out an extra $10 – 15 and you didn’t help the black family that came in after you.

Gon’ and tip your 10 – 15% and shut up already. Ain’t nobody looking for Super-Negro cause Super-Negro can’t save us.

NoNo says:

Everything you said here is true. Toure says speaking on a problem is not contributing to a problem. It is when your talking and not doing anything about it! I made some comments about the same exact thing.

http://re-educating.blogspot.com/2009/09/tipping-police.html

Jennifer says:

TOURE!?!? Girl, you should’ve just said that from the jump. Shoooooot.

Lil' Creole Pimp says:

@Minkxx

“Toure is a second rate “journalist” who loves nothing more than to be told: You know, you’re not like those other blacks.”

Yes. Yes. Yes. You’re going to Hollywod. I have to retweet this.

Nadi says:

My old boss (and now good friend) told me a story of how he hated — like, despised — waiting on black people when he was a busboy a Friday’s because, in his words, ‘are the most insulting tippers. period’.

Either we tipped poorly or not at all.

I for one, always tipp because my grandmother taught me that it was common courtesy to tip at least 15-20% of the bill — anything less — you an asshole.

I think he and my grandmother are right.

I also think that a vast majority of blacks are ignorant to the subject of etiquette in certain aspects.

zillz says:

i agree to an extent. but i still subscribe to the fact that when we step out that door, it’s a direct representation for a lot of things especially the race.

J. Rae says:

valid points. i work at a restaurant on the weekend and every black table that comes in gets judged as “non tippers” before my white coworkers even get to the table. i’ll play devil’s advocate here and say there ARE plenty black people who come in there with NO intentions of tipping whatsoever on bills that are $80 and up. it’s really annoying. however i know better than to go blaming a whole race for some ignant shit. my coworkers, not so much. i get the ” your people” speech all the time. when they do get nice tips, “my” people are the exception. it sucks, but that’s the world we live in today. I will say that what most don’t know is everything you tip doesn’t go to your server. ( ie. you leave me $20 im really getting 15 after i tip out the bar/busser etc). by the time i tip out everyone else i go from making $200 maybe to 150 ( and even less maybe…this is where bad tippers come in because regardless of whether i get tipped well or not i still have to tip out to the crew on my sales) luckily i don’t depend on this job to survive, people don’t have money to eat out let alone worry about tipping so it doesn’t phase me much. whew that was long. but very good post !

[fung'ke][blak][chik] says:

Am I the only know who knows white ppl that don’t tip?

Cap'n Kirk says:

Yeah, you are talking me. I do feel like f*ck-ups mess things up for everybody else. So from now on, I won’t care what anyone does on their own. HOWEVER, if we’re are out together, your @$$ better be on your best behavior and you better tip. Most of the places I go to, I go to frequently. You’re not going to eff up my good thing or risk getting our food tampered with. Good service deserves

MoreAndAgain says:

I see your point, but where in the quote did the person suggest that everyone else should overtip? I’m not by any means an “uppity negro”, but I can definitely say that quote is true. When Black people don’t tip, it effects the service for the next Black person (the same stereotype is applied to Asian people too). Now, I don’t think people should overtip to compensate for someone else’s lack of tipping. Take care of your bill, and I’ll take care of mine. But, it is true that people who don’t tip at all fuck it up for the rest of us (I’m saying this as someone who used to be a waitress, barista, and bartender).

It might not even be in a noticeable way all the time, but it happens. As a server, you have to split yourself between X amount of tables. If it’s really busy it’s impossible to bring your A game to every table, so you try to cut your loses by making a gamble on which table will probably tip more (I, personally, made this deduction by which table had more people and ordered more food. So, sorry to the table of two who only ordered salads and water, the table of 4 w/ appetizers, entrees, and desserts won). Some waiters make the deduction based on the color of people’s skin, because the “common knowledge” is Blacks and Asians don’t tip. So, in that instance, the requests from those tables get made lower priority, than the other tables, and you start to notice your food takes a little longer, your waters not refilled right away (you probably even have to ask for water), it’s hard for you to find your waiter when you need them, etc. You could deduct from the tip for that, but in some cases those waiters weren’t expecting much (if any) of a tip from you anyway. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s fucked up. As someone who’s been on both sides (I usually tip 20% unless service is bad, and I’ve worked in Black restaurants) I know that, generally, Black people really do tip, and they tip apropriately (not talking about overtipping). But, unfortunately, that stereotype does effect us. The best way to combat it wouldn’t be to overtip, though. I think the best way to combat it would be to just take care of your bill (once you’ve tipped 18%-20% anything over that just gets remembered as “extra”. Since most people, of any ethnicity, don’t usually tip extra you’re no longer part of the “usual” folks once you do so). Also, ask for a different waiter (if you see your service slacking) and have your tip go to them instead, so the previous waiter can feel stupid (because they’ll definitely ask the replacement waiter how much you tipped, and then feel like they missed out on money). Money talks.

Moe says:

I agree with your stance on the black tax issue. I will not tip a bad server. I could care less. If I think for two seconds that you treated me differently then your other customers because I am black I will not tip you. I don’t care. All I do is watch the server while I wait on my food: ex: are they prompt with others refills and slow on mine. I notice everything. I don’t condone racist behavior at all. If they don’t like it, I don’t care because it is their loss and my gain. I have never had a problem keeping my money in my pocket.

MoreAndAgain says:

Just wanted to add that it’s not just White servers who play into this stereotype. I know Black servers who wouldn’t take tables with Black customers because they think Black people don’t tip. Also, I’ve encountered White people who don’t tip. So, the moral of the story is, stereotypes are wrong on so many levels.

CT Glo says:

I am a generous tipper, and part of the reason that I always tip at least 15% even for bad service is that I imagine there are lots of people who don’t tip at all. This has nothing to do with race or stereotypes. A lot of commenters on this post said they don’t tip at all for bad service and I think that’s just wrong. If someone’s out there working, I give benefit of the doubt. But it’s not because I’m trying to make white people look like good tippers. I’m just trying to acknowledge that someone’s out there hustling while I’m eating a nice steak and they deserve to be paid. And to make up for all the people of any race who don’t tip at all.

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