I found the following advice post on another website I frequent & I really wonder if anyone else jumps to same conclusion I did…

My husband has a very close friend.  They’ve been best friends for nearly 20 years.  His best friend (I’ll call him Jeff ) lives in the same town as us and was in our wedding. A couple years back my father invited Jeff to join my husband and I for a family visit to our beach place without so much as a word with me.  It didn’t go so well.  Jeff got drunk, claimed that he “allowed” my husband to marry me and that I shouldn’t complain if I don’t get time alone with my husband because it’s completely at Jeff’s discretion.  Needless to say I hit the roof and took it out on my husband.  I literally had to fight to get any time alone with my husband while on vacation.

[For completeness sake I should include there have been arguments about attempting to spend time with my husband when he's had the guys over nearly every free day.  His most popular argument is "I've known them longer than you."  That's always been met with "you didn't marry them and not a single one has volunteered to have a child with you."  Jeff has lately been "comparing" people in his friends group by pointing out, at every occasion, whom he has known longer.   As the person who moved to this town most recently (8 years ago) I'm usually "odd man out."]

Flash forward to this year.  My husband works a weird schedule and I work a somewhat normal one.  This results in very little alone time for the two of us.  And yet Jeff seems to always be there.  It’s fine if my husband and I can’t find some alone time.  Not so much when he gets busy.  Right now he’s very busy.  In fact, last night I had to remind my husband that we had been planning dinner together, alone, for the last week.  I had even already bought the food and wine and everything.  He had to call Jeff to cancel because I “didn’t allow it.”  Never mind there wasn’t enough food for Jeff and the friend he wanted to bring along.

But wait, there’s more.  I’m going to a short work-related conference in July.  I had originally proposed that my husband and I go up a week early, rent a car and see the Pacific Northwest.  Neither of us has ever been there before, and I keep hearing about how beautiful it is.  My husband seemed interested at first.  Then Jeff chimed in that he didn’t want my husband to go away because he wanted my husband to cook a meal for him, at our house, consisting of the foods I medically can’t eat.  I calmly told him that he and my husband can do that any time, by just going over to Jeff’s house.  Jeff is now adamant that my husband absolutely cannot join me at the conference and can’t take time the time off because now Jeff wants to have a huge group vacation in the Rocky Mountains at a friend of his’ place.  My husband said this is a wonderful thing because “it’s a free place to stay.”  Never mind boarding the animals, time off, flights, etc.  AND it would financially prevent us from going on our own vacation, sans Jeff.

So how should I deal with a Jeff that has very obviously placed himself between my husband and I?  I’ve already told him in no uncertain terms to back off.  This was met by my husband defending him and lots of eye rolling on their parts.  I don’t want this to be a him versus me situation, but I feel like I have no choice, as far as our vacation is concerned.  Seriously, what kind of pretentious [word deleted] tells a married couple how to live their lives?  Who does that?  Wait, I think I just demonstrated that.

I’m also frustrated because I married one of them, not the other, and there’s a difference between “just friends” and interfering with a person’s marriage.  I also feel like I’m the only one who can see this for what it is.  It is acceptable to tell my spouse, “you need to go on this vacation alone with me, suggest another affordable one with just the two of us, or risk losing this marriage”?  Is that taking it too far?

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Okay so is it just me or did anybody else get “GIRL, THEY ARE BOOTY BUDDIES” vibes from this letter?