Posts Tagged “We’re doing business here”

The following celebrity-themed “follow Friday” recommendations are brought to you by JORiDior, creolepimp, LuvvieIG, Leci_83, OneOf_TheKids, harlem_nocturne, jaonyourmind, justNancyP, and me mahself. Enjoy our lack of good sense.

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Follow @mechanicaldummy cuz he ain’t hit a bitch in like six months, and personally, I call that growth.

Follow @maryjblige cuz in middle school you used to walk down the front steps and sing “I’m Going Down” to yourself.

Follow @rocsidiaz because your man probably is and you know how that ho get.

Follow @Adrienne_Bailon because she has to be good at SOMETHING. Tres leches cake probably.

Follow @JessicaSimpson cuz she still lookin for her dog…the one that them coyotes snatched up. And she needs some help ‘kay guys?

Follow @drakkardnoir, literally, because he’s gonna need you to help pick him up when that knee go out again.

Follow @CraigDavid cuz you called your voicemail “the answer phone” for six weeks after Fill Me In hit the charts.

#Follow @neyoshairline cuz his forehead can’t. Got lost at the fork in the road. *cues violins*

Don’t follow @perezhilton cause he STILL ain’t humbled himself down since he got the heterosexuality bitch-slapped outta him by Will.I.Am.

Follow @50cent #withisuglyass to see where that nigga goes after he kills me for fucking with him on Twitter.

Follow @DaRealerstTPain cause his dumb ass made a typo in his screen name and never fixed it. #coon

Follow @iamdiddy so you can tell us where he and the rest of the Filthy Foodstamp crew been hiding since Shyne got out.

Fllw @KhloeKardashian home. Cause the last n*gga that did, married her. (She’s the only Kardashian sis that is, so think about that b4 u h8)

Follow @neneleakes eye cause the other one doesn’t.

Follow @mslaurenlondon cause she found out what’s a goon to a goblin. Goblins can impregnate you.

Follow @songzyuuup cause he can’t hold his lip like that forever. Whatchu waitin on?

(more…)

Mattel is coming out with a new line of black Barbie dolls made to look more like actual black people. The dolls have thick lips, wide noses, kinkier hair, and ASS AND HIPS FOR DAYZZZZZ defined cheekbones. The dolls also come with a “little sister”, who looks so young that you might mistake her for the daughter. Single mamas where you at?!

Kara with Little Sister Janessa

Grace & Courtney (if this ain’t some AKA & Xinos shit right here…)

Trichelle (who has the body of Alicia Keys, whether intentional or not) & Kianna

I don’t hate it or love it, but I do think the dolls are prettier than the “regular” Barbies. Apparently you can also straighten their hair with a “spray of water” and accompanying hair styling tools, which every black girl knows ain’t rooted nowhere near the truth. But anyway! Don’t get me started!

Trichelle smilin with her eyes and shit. You betta werk bitch.